Where My Heart Is
by deepwater1978
Summary: Where my heart is... is my dream. I hope I can share my dreams with you as I share yours.
1. Chapter 1

Writing has been my favourite past time since childhood. I used to scribble sentences onto papers whenever I could find any. As I grew up I picked up the habit of writing diaries. I treated my diaries as friends. A very close friend who would always be there to listen to the thoughts of my day. A friend who was wiling to share my feelings all the time and would never betray me. But I stopped writing diaries when I was thirteen.

My parents have very high expectations from us. Just can't help it when your parents are highly educated professions! Since young they groom us to become good children and overall bright achievers. Until now I'm grateful to my parents for their upbringing but I do wish at times they could let me have some personal space to breathe, to do whatever I want and to be carefree.

Everyone had crushes and dreams when they were young. I was the same too when I was young. My diaries were filled with my tender dreams and hopes and nobody knew about them. It was a safe place for me to share and to dream. Unfortunately I discovered accidentally that my mother was actually reading my diaries all these years! She knew all along what was happening to her daughter yet she did not say a word. I guessed that as long as I was able to maintain my reputation as a bright scholar she would be pleased. Since then I stopped writing diaries. I felt betrayed. She was tresspassing. Writing diaries was my private world. A prohibited land. Yet I did not tell her how I felt. I still respect her and love her as she is. It was just a small sacrifice I had to make i.e. gave up writing diaries.

I still enjoyed writing when I was at school. My essays were always welcomed by the school magazine editorial board. I was nominated for interschool essay competition a few times but I had declined the offer. Writing is an inspiration from the heart. An essay written during a competition has no sincerity and feelings that a writer wanted to convey. Furthermore I hated competitions. It is stressful enough to be born in this competitive world. Why forced yourselve to face more competitions?

At times I wonder whether should I pursue a career in writing? Then I realised that writing is a dream. A dream that is too lovely to destroy in reality. A career in writing will be a pain and a risk. Furthermore I really enjoy my job at the moment so I have decided to let writing to continue to be my dream.

It has been a while since I have picked a pen to write. It was more than 5 years before I started writing "Beyond My Heart". Busy and no time were the lame excuses. Well, I think I need to thank 2 persons deeply - my best friend, Caroline and him. Without them I would never find the courage and inspiration to write the story. Caroline has read my story and just like the other readers, has enjoyed my writing. I'm very touched indeed. For the readers out there, your kindness and gentle word or two have deeply touched my heart and soul. Thank you very much!

As for him, he would never read the story. In fact I would never let him find out about the story and my feelings. Yet I still want to thank him. Without knowing him, I would have never had this inspiration t write a beautiful story.

* * *

 **Another beautiful story by "Runaway Soul" that I will modify for our favourite TVD couple - Damon and Elena.**

 **Thank you for all the support and kind words.**


	2. Chapter 2

My life has been hectic since I have taken the job offer in Washington. And part of my job involves a lot of travelling, which is great too. Recently I was in Sydney for a conference. It was supposed to be a good business trip but it turned out to be a complete nightmare.

The conference was great and I met a lot of interesting people. We shared informations and ideas, which was very educating. But the weather was disappointing. It was dry and hot. I could not stand the weather at all. It made me sick.

Maybe it was cumulative. I have never had any rest since I started my work in Washington. The last thing I could ever dream of was a nice vacation. Maybe it was the weather too. My head started to throb constantly and I felt unwell.

One night my headache became so unbearable that I felt like crying. I wished someone was there with me. I was afraid. What if it were something nasty like a brain tumour? Yet I restrained myself from crying. I'm not a child anymore. This was a simple headache and all I needed was a good night sleep. So I self medicated myself with 2 Panadols and went to bed early that night. I drifted to sleep almost instantaneously. It was then the nightmare started...

It was very noisy. I could not hear clearly. Everyone seemed to be shouting. Then I saw him.

Damon. What was he doing here?

It was strange as I have never dreamt of him in the past. He was charming and still has the effect on me even in the dream. We were talking and he introduced me to his wife and children. I was dumbfounded! The woman was very beautiful and the children were adorable. It was a lovely happy family picture. My heart ached so badly even when I was smiling and laughing with them. All of a sudden, something changed...

My father was reprimanding me and I was totally lost about what went wrong. My mother was in tears and my siblings were absolutely crazy. Everyone in the household looked devastated. The problem was I did not know what had happened. Then the news struck me hard. I was involved with a married man, which happened to be him! I could not even believe my ears when I heard this. My father was angry and blamed me for having a marital affair with him. His family was absolutely mad too as I had destroyed a wonderful marriage. I was the shameless woman! I nearly died in the dream.

It was half-past two in the morning when I awoke with cold sweets. I was trembling so hard that I needed to hold tight onto the blanket to calm myself. I was crying too and my face was drenched with tears. The salty tears tasted horrible on my tougue. It was dreadful.

The next morning I felt terrible. The headache was gone but I was in a state of shock. I knew it was just a nightmare but it was too real. I was not sure of its significance.

I called Carolin and told her about the nightmare. She comforted me and asked me to relax. It was only a dream, afterall. Yes, maybe she was right.

The lesson that I have learnt from the dream is no matter how much I love a man I will never get involved if he were married!


	3. Chapter 3

What would you do if the man you loved was getting married and the bribe to-be were not you? I'm not sure I know the answer to that question. I guess nobody can give me the right answer either.

Caroline received a wedding invitation from her ex-boyfriend. Although Caroline looks tough outside she is just as brittle inside as I am. Yes, she is happy with her boyfriend now and they are a wonderful item together. Yet I know Caroline still likes his ex a great deal. They are still mutual friends now but I know the wedding invitation did hurt her deeply.

She pretends not too care but I know it is not true. He was the first guy who made her felt foolishly in love yet he was the same guy who hurt her too and left a scar in her heart. The relationship was not going smoothly so ending it was a relief to both parties. But who could understand the pain?

I don't know how to comfort her. I wish I could help but I really don't know how. And that was why I decided to let go of Damon. I don't want the friendship to blossom into a deeper relationship because I don't want to spoil what we have shared. I just want us to be simple friends. I don't want to be his buddy either because I don't want to share his problems. I don't want to hear his love relationships with other women and I don't want to receive any wedding invitation from him. That's because I'm a runaway soul. Keeping a distance from him is safe. At least he will always be my fantasy and dream. A fantasy and dream I always treasure.

Both of us need to carry on with our lives and that's what we are doing. Learning to let go is not an easy task but it is a step that we need to and will conquer.

To Caroline and all the heart broken souls out there, I wish to share with you this lovely article..

LEARN TO LET GO COMPLETELY

Learn to let go completely. Although letting go is NEVER an easy task, there is always a reason for it, as there IS a reason for everything. And you will never discover why until the time you do it without strings attached. There is a saying that goes, "If you really love someone, set her free. If she comes back to you, you are meant to be." Easier said than done, indeed.

Learn to let go completely. Love longs for happiness, the happiness of BOTH parties involved. Letting go may SEEM to benefit only one, but in time, you will discover that you, too, ARE happy letting go. Until then, you will NEVER find your own happiness.

Learn to let go completely. Love longs for peace of mind AND of heart. You do not want an inner war, do you? Nor do you want to wage an invisible war? Peace means "less words, less hurt, MORE understanding, MORE love". It IS that simple.

Learn to let go completely. Until then can you only love AND be loved again...

-angelblush -

It is not easy but we can definitely do it!


	4. Chapter 4

My grandfather had a stroke few months ago. The doctor said that he had a small bleed in his brain but he would survive. It was a shocking news to everyone at home. He was well and looked fine until he collapsed one day in his bedroom.

Mum rung me at half-past three in the morning to deliver the bad news. The next few days became hectic as I was trying to organize somebody to cover me as well as busy calling flight centers to book air tickets.

My mood was in terrible state. I would snap at my co-workers easily and lost my temper because of small matters. I was basically a bitch at that time. However my staff was very understanding and they just knew the way to avoid my bad temperament.

When I finally returned home grandfather had become stable enough to be transferred to the stroke rehabilitation unit. It was a lovely, friendly and supportive environment. The staff working there was truly awesome.

Grandfather was looking good although he still had weakness in his left arm and leg. His speech was slurred too and at time he was having difficulties searching for the right words. It was frustrating to him but I knew he would never give up. He is a man of steel. He always has been.

I accompanied him to his physiotherapy sessions daily. I wished I could be there when he had the stroke but I knew there was nothing I could do to help. He was making good improvement everyday and he was never disheartened about trivial failure.

He was working very hard and at time I wanted to ask him to slow down. Let nature do the healing, grandfather! But he would never listen.

After spending 3 weeks at home it was time to return to work again. It was good to have my family around again and I wished I could stay longer. Yet there were important things that needed to be done.

Life is without guarantees. I admired the inner strength that my grandfather has to cope with the disability and loss. What hadhappened to him made me realized that it is important to take life one day at a time and explore it to the fullest.


	5. Chapter 5

I have never liked to go to hospital. To me it is a place of sickness, suffering and death. I thought it would be the last time I would ever step into the hospital after my grandfather's stroke. But I was wrong.

Liv, my secretary broke her ankle when she was playing netball. When I looked at the plaster cast that she was wearing, I felt sorry for her. It must have hurt a lot.

One evening when I was visiting Liv, the bone doctors came by for round. One of the young doctor in the team looked very familiar but I could not register a name to the face. I was sure that I had seen him before but where and when? I guessed it was the same for him as he was giving me the unusual stare too.

When I left the room he finally approached me in the corridor and introduced himself as Liam. The name rung a bell immediately and the old memories rushed back to my mind. It was Liam from my high school. Wow! I could not believe my eyes that he is actually a doctor and a bone-specialist to-be!

We had dinner together in the hospital cafeteria. It was the first time that I had meals in the hospital and it felt strange. But it was nice to catch up with Liam after so many years.

He looked more mature and wiser espcially in his white coat. We were not close when we were in high school as we belonged to different peer groups. He was the smart, studious type who always aced all the subjects. My grades were great too but we were just different.

It was a small world afterall. I would never dream of meeting my old classmates in a hospital. Yet it felt good to see them and catch up old times with them.

I had a wonderful evening. Liam was a good company and he readily shared his horror stories of being a medical student and doctor with me. I never had a medical personel as my friend so all the stories sounded very interesting and exciting to me. Well, I have never dreamt of becoming a doctor in the first place, ha!

Before we left we exchanged phone numbers and promised to stay in touch. Yet life was unpredictable. It always has been.

Very soon I was in New York for meetings. Liam had called a few times but I was always busy in a meeting. He had left messages but I was too tired to listen to my voicemails whenever I returned to my hotel suite. All I needed was a good night sleep.

When I returned to Seattle, I found out that he had left a couple of messages in my answering phone machine at home. I tried to call back but all I reached was his answering machine.

Liv finally returned to work and I was glad. She was telling everyone in the office how charming and wonderful Liam was. I presumed he was indeed a good doctor.

"Are you going out with Liam?" Liv asked me later that day.

I looked puzzled. Why would she ask such a question?

"He was asking about you whenever he came to see me. I think he might be interested in you!"

I shrugged my shoulder and smiled. Experience had taught me to ignore such comments.

That night at home I relistened to his messages in my answering machine. Maybe we did have some common grounds. But the timing was wrong, wasn't it? Maybe it was fated to end like this.

Maybe we were never meant to be.


	6. Chapter 6

Recently I read a comic in a newspaper which titled "Women Waiting For The Perfect Men". It was a picture of a few skeletons sitting around a dining table. The message it was trying to convey was a woman waiting for the perfect man would grow old alone and die in loneliness. The comic kept wandering into my mind in the last few days and it was very annoying.

I browsed through my computer files and reread the article by Angleblush "Learn To Let Go Completely". It was a nice piece of work.

"Learn to let go completely. Until then can you only love AND be loved again..."

The sentences stood out clearly telling me what I should be doing. Yet it was easier said than done.

The initial period before I could let go completely is difficult but I'm trying my very best. I believe that true love exists in this world and one day I will find my soulmate.

My CD player was playing the song "Without you" by Air Supply the other day. I switched to another song without hesitation. I loved the song but the lyrics just brought back too many painful memories. I just did not want the song to remind me of him.

x x x

I don't know why and how I have gathered the courage to ask him about the topic on soulmate. It was an impulsive act, an act without serious consideration and thought. It just happened. The email was as follow:

Hi, Damon

I have decided to do a course in Psychology and I need some help for my assignment. Can you do me a favour and answer the questionnaire for me?

1\. How do you define soulmate?

2\. As a highly qualified profession, does it matter to you that your future spouse must be your soulmate too? Please state reasons.

3\. Have you found your soulmate?

Yours sincerely,

Elena

After I had clicked on the send button, I started to regret. It was an email full of lies. How could I even come up with such a silly idea? No matter what happens, he is still a friend. How could I lie to my friend?

Maybe he would ignore my email. I was trying very hard to reassure myself. But I got an instant reply from him.

Dear Elena,

I will reply your questionnaire later after I have finished my project. No hurry right?

Damon

I was stunned. I would never think that Damon would reply such a silly email. Yet there was still no answer from him. It was a promise from him but I was afraid. Afraid of the answers.

Sometimes I wish that I have never asked him the questions. But I can't change the situation now, can I? Right now I can only wait to see how he responds to my questionnaires. I can only have faith. No matter what the answers are at least it gives me the opportunity to know him better by evaluating his views and ideas. I should not feel sad even if he told me that he had found his soulmate, shouldn't I? I always wish upon the stars, wishing him happiness. If he were happy and his life were complete with his soulmate, I should be happy and glad too. Easier said than done, again.

This is his promise. A promise that keeps me waiting and wondering. A promise that hurts too.


	7. Chapter 7

Good friend is hard to find. A good friend like Caroline who is always supportive and understanding and who always stays with me through good times and bad times is even more difficult to find. I'll always cherish what we've shared all these years.

Caroline came over to Seattle to visit me recently. It was good to have her here with me. Ever since I have been transferred to Seattle, I always miss the time that we have spent together. The long conversations over the phone, the shopping outings, the lunch/dinner get-together, the heart-touching chats in our rooms etc. All the wonderful time that we have shared are just beyond descriptions.

It was winter and we snuggled closely near the fireplace.

We talked, joked, laughed, cried and hugged each other etc. things that we have not done together for a while. I felt warm and comfortable. It was a sense of security, a sense of reassurance that I was never alone in this world.

We discussed about men. She was trying her best to get over with the wedding news of her ex-boyfriend. It was silly of her to pretend that she didn't care. I knew it would be a struggle but I knew she was tough and strong too. Time and patience were what she needed.

We talked about soulmate and the topic diverted to him eventually. A topic I dreaded to talk about at times. Not many people knew about him especially my family. I intended to keep it as a secret from them especially from my parents. It would never work out between us and that was why I didn't want them to know. The nightmare was still haunting me.

I knew what my parents' responses and reactions would be if they found out the truth.

"You are a grown-up but you're still acting like a child!"

"How can you love someone whom you don't even know well?"

"This is silly and foolish of you!"

All these remarks were hurtful and I didn't want them to come from my family.

"Yeah, better bandage your mouth tightly even when you are asleep!" Caroline joked and I started to burst into laughter.

Caroline would be handling a new project soon when she returned home. A new project that would need input from Damon's company. Life was unpredictable, wasn't it? She would make initial contacts with him and hopefully it would turn out to be a good partnership between her company and his.

When I told her about the email on soulmate that I had sent to Damon, Caroline was thrilled and excited.

"Don't worry, I will interrogate him about you when I see him the next time!"

"Don't you dare!" I gave her a push on her shoulder.

She started laughing and reassured me that it would be alright. They would talk about business and then slowly she would divert the topic to me - a friend whom they both knew. What a joker she was!

I didn't tell Damon about my trip home to visit my grandfather. It was a hectic and tensed moment that I did not want to burden him with. But it did cross my mind that I would call him out for a get-together when I go home for holiday in future. However I was afraid that he would reject my invitation.

"Come on girl, don't be afraid! Just give him a call when you are back and I'm sure he will say yes," Caroline reassured me.

"You know I'm Runaway soul and I like to runaway from complicated matters.."

She held my hands firmly. "You need to go forward and conquer. Not running away all the time!"

I felt a wave of warmth washed over my heart. It was very touching to have such a supportive friend, wasn't it?

We hugged each other and I felt like crying again.

That night I was lying wide awake in bed. Lying beside me was Caroline who was peacefully asleep. Her presence made me feel calm. I whispered the words thank you softly and she stirred slightly before drifting back to sleep. This was Caroline. She made things sound so simple and easy.

If things were that simple in life...

Or maybe did I make things complicated in life?


	8. Chapter 8

Christmas is just around the corner and I could sense the atmosphere of festive season wherever I go. The Christmas trees, the lighting, the cakes and pies, the tinsel, the Santa Clause etc. are just everywhere. It is a bright and joyous day that children will play and grownups will celebrate.

This is the first time that I will be alone this Christmas in a land far from home. The very thought brings tears to my eyes. But it will be alright as this life is my choice. I have chosen to accept the job offer away from home and I'm going to live with my decision. It is part of life anyway.

I'm browsing through the comments that my readers have given to me. The a're all very supportive and encouraging. I wish I could find the strength and courage to be strong and happy again. I know it is not difficult. Everything just lies in my hand.

Sometimes I wonder whether everything is fated to be like this? What if I had never met Damon? Would I be better off this way? Then I realize my life would be less colourful and exciting without him. He is part of the journey of my life. Someone who is destined to be there to teach me lessons of life and love.

Then I ask myself should I leave everything in the hands of faith? But the waiting and wondering are just tormenting and heartbreaking. How I wish I know the answer for my doubts! Should I have the faith and be proactive in my life? I have picked up the courage once to ask him the questions on soulmate so I should be able to find the courage again to search for the answers.

Fate or faith? A decision that I need to make seriously before the year comes to an end. A decision that will affect the rest of my life.

x x x

The time had arrived. I had decided to push Damon further for answers. Answers for my doubts. I hated the waiting time and I had realized that it would do me no more good than harm to be kept in the dark. So I sent him another email.

Hi Damon

Just a reminder that you've promised to answer the questionnaire for my assignment. Please reply ASAP as the due date for my assignment is just around the corner. Thanks.

Yours sincerely,

Elena

It was 2 days later before I received a reply. So this was the moment, I thought. My hands were shaking badly and my heart was racing when I saw his email in the inbox. When I opened the email it was the most dreadful and miserable email that I had ever dreamt of reading.

Dear Elena,

Sorry for the late reply as I was out of town last weekend. Answers to your questions:-

I think marriage is a sacred vow - a vow between two persons who are willing to spend their lives together, through good times and bad times. It is a vow of love, of trust, of respect, of understanding, of care and of patience. A vow that should never be broken, not even by death.

A soulmate is somebody who is destined for you in this world. A special person whom you will know when you meet him/her. Nobody can give a perfect definition for soulmate but you will know within your heart when you have met the right person.

I don't think education plays an important role in deciding one's fate. Everyone wishes his/her future partner to be their soulmates. Agree?

As for your last question, it's tricky! There is this terrific woman...I think she might be the one whom I have been looking for all these years.

What about you? Is there somebody in your life?

Hope my answers are helpful to you. Take care ok?

Damon

I sat there staring at the computer screen. The world seemed to have stopped. My mind went blank. Slowly I got up from the chair and dragged myself to the bedroom. I threw myself onto the queen-sized bed and curled into a ball. Then the dam finally burst.

The pain was excruciating and I could hardly breathe. It was like a long, sharp-edged knife piercing through my heart. I knew the truth would hurt but never would I have guessed that it hurt so much.

God knew how long I had been crying for. It felt like the end of the world. I was being silly and stupid all these years, wasn't I? I should have known it all along that this would be happening soon but I had never had the courage to face the truth.

Because I was Runaway soul!

A soul that runs away from love and would never get any in return!

Finally I was quieting down, my sobs began to subside and I blinked back my tears. Somewhere a voice in my head cried out - Enough!

The moment had finally arrived and it was time to stop hoping and waiting for some miracle to happen. After all these years I finally got the message. He was not my Prince Charming and in the real world there were no fairy tale endings. There was no guarantee of "happily ever after".

I went to the bathroom and looked into the mirror. My eyes were red and puffy from the aftermath. I looked terrible.

Maybe it was time to get on with life. Why wasting my time and effort on a man who would never cherish me? I didn't need anybody in my life. "Alone" did not necessarily mean lonely. I could still stand on my own and take care of myself.

 _Elena Gilbert, get a grip. Life is not always fair. You don't always get what you think you deserve but it is alright. This is life._

I took a deep breath...


	9. Chapter 9

It was 2 days before Christmas before I arrived home safely. My parents were astounded by my return but they were glad to have me back for Christmas and New Year. I was surprised by my decision to take leave abruptly too but I needed some time off work. My boss was not very pleased with my plan but he had come to term that I would not settle for less.

At first I wanted to fly over to New York or Canada for a nice vacation. Then I realised that I did not want to be alone. It was not loneliness that I was afraid of. It was being too independent. Suddenly I desired to be loved, to be pampered and to be taken care of. So I headed home - a shelter with love, tender and care all the time.

Things were so different back home yet they brought back a sense of familiarity and belonging that moved me deeply. I had never realised how much I missed my bedroom, my working desk, my car and most of all, my mum's cooking! It felt wonderful to be home again.

Everyone back home was thrilled to see me again. At times I felt totally exhausted and drained entertaining the relatives and friends but it was great to catch up with old times.

Caroline was a good and lovely companion, just as she always was. We went shopping together and had lots of fun. She did ask me about my sudden return but I told her firmly that I wanted some personal space to do some thinking first. She was wonderful and she prompted no further questions. It was true that I was not prepared to take questions from anyone yet. It was my life, my choice. I had nobody to answer to right now except myself.

x x x

I met Matt the next day after I arrived home. Well, I had dinner with my old colleagues and he was one of them. We did not have much long conversations except the usual "hello", "you look great" etc. as I was always distracted by the others. I became the center of attraction that night. Everyone was asking me loads of questions about Washington and headquarter.

It was not until later that we were finally alone. As usual Matt was a gentleman who volunteered to walk me to my car and I accepted the offer. We were silent throughout the walk until I reached my car. He had finally spoken.

"You look different."

"In what way?" I asked, surprised at his comment.

"You look...distant. Sad. Unhappy. Your eyebrows are always locked even when you are laughing. Your eyes look troubled. Your soul and spirit are far from reach."

He was right. I was everything Matt had described but this was not the right time to talk about the problems.

I shrugged my shoulders and gave him a smile.

"It is very nice to see you again, Matt. Good night."


	10. Chapter 10

Before I left Washington, I had deleted all of Damon's emails from my mail inbox. It was time to let go, wasn't it? I did not even tell him that I was coming home. I wanted him out of my life. No more emails. No more phone calls. No more get-together. No more fantasy. No more dream. This was the reality.

When I received his text messages in my handphone suddenly, I was startled. It was really difficult to press the erase button but I did it eventually, without reading the messages. It was amazing that I could be so cold and heartless.

Then he tried calling my handphone but I had chosen to ignore his call. It was always a struggle but I knew I could handle this well. I had be in control this time.

It was Boxing Day when Damon called me at but I was out with Caroline so I was not aware that he had called until I returned home. My mum was curious as I had never mentioned about him in the past.

"Who is Damon?" my mum asked.

"He is a nuisance. Just say I'm not around if he called the next time," I answered calmly.

She looked stunned at my statement. I was pretty surprised that I could be so calm as well. Maybe I had learnt my lesson well. Fortunately she did not ask further questions.

There was a lovely park near my neighbourhood where I used to play when I was a child. I still spent time there before I left for Washington. The serenity of the park always made me feel peaceful. But not on Boxing Day.

Something happened in the park that really diminished my spirit completely...

I was sitting on the bench quietly, enjoying the peace and listening to the wind. Somewhere I heard a familiar voice that jolted my sense and my body stiffened. When I turned frantically around, I could not believe who was standing in front of me!

I could no believe my eyes.

It was Damon!

We were sitting next to each other on a bench in a park, just like we did when we were in Japan. The memories were rushing back into my mind and I could feel my heart aching. I clenched my fist slightly before releasing it.

Damon looked concern. "Are you alright? You look tensed."

"Yes, I'm fine."

"Hey, why didn't you tell me you are coming back for Christmas?" he asked.

"It's none of your business!" I snapped.

He was taken aback and looked hurt. I felt like slapping myself. I had no right to demand him to love me just to make me happy. I looked away.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to be rude."

"It's alright."

There was a moment of silence. Sitting next to him made me uncomfortable. He always gave me a sense of familiarity yet he was far from reach. I hated this false sense of reality.

"Remember the email that I had sent you?" he spoke suddenly.

"What?" I was not paying attention.

"I asked you a question. A question whether there is somebody in your life."

I was quiet for a while before I spoke.

"There is nobody in my life."

"Why? Don't you believe in soulmate?" he continued to ask.

"Yes, I do," I answered impatiently. I just wished he could stop talking and go away.

There was a pause before I opened my mouth. "Don't you?"

"Of course I do!"

"I bet she is very lucky!" I sounded sarcastically. It was jealousy, I guessed.

His lips curled into a smile. "I bet she is!"

I could feel something gripping my heart. It was aching too much that I felt that I was going to pass out in front of him. I clenched my fist very hard trying to calm myself.

"Are you okay, Elena?" Damon asked.

I turned to look at him. He was staring back at me. The glimmering eyes and the indisputable charm that had always drawn me into trouble! I looked away before I opened my mouth.

"I'm glad to see you here and I wish you and this special woman of yours happiness always."

Then I stood up and walked away. I didn't look back. It was time to let go of the past. To leave everything behind.

I quickened my pace before stumbled into a run. I was not running away. I was just trying to hide the tears that had started to roll down my cheeks!


	11. Chapter 11

It had been a while since I last checked my emails. It was an avoidance. To avoid Damon and to avoid myself from feeling weak again. But it was time to face the reality. I did not want to squander my life living under impending doom all the time. I still had a life to live.

It was shocking to learn that I had almost 20-30 emails in the last couple of weeks. To my surprise half of these were from Damon.

I hesitated for a moment before clicking open his emails. It was time for me to step right into and through my fear. I would not give in this time and I knew I could handle it whatever happened.

There were a few well wishing mails from him plus a few greeting cards. It was very nice and thoughtful of him. But I had leant my lesson about love. I knew when was the time to walk away. There were no more second thoughts.

Then the next few emails caught my attention. I held my breath when I read through them.

Dear Elena,

I'm not sure what had happened this afternoon. Did I say anything that upset you? I'm sorry if I had said something that upset you.

Hope this email will make you feel better and smile again.

Damon

Dear Elena,

It is very usual for you not replying my emails at all. Are you angry with me? I have tried calling but you are always not around and you never answer your cell phone. Is there some misunderstanding between us?

Friends drift apart as they grow and change. Is that what is happening to us?

Damon

My heart started to ache and I tightened my fist to push away my tears and feelings. I had learnt not to let these feelings to suffocate the life out of me again.

Dear Elena,

I have spoken to Carline at work. Guess it would be the only way that I have to find out what is wrong with you. She must be a good friend as she never says a word!

However I sincerely hope that you will reply my email or give me a call soon. I really want to talk to you.

Damon

I couldn't control my tears anymore. I shut down the PC as I couldn't bear to read further. This friendship was all I had desired and ending it hurt me more than I could describe.

"I'm sorry..." I whispered as I continued to weep.


	12. Chapter 12

It was time for me to return to Washington. There were so much errands to do prior to departure. I was out with my mum almost everyday and yet there seemed to be endless things on the shopping list to be bought! It was tiring but fun. I wished I could stay longer but my boss would not be pleased at all. Furthermore I really wanted to get back to work again.

Was it fate that I must meet his special woman? Why was life so cruel? I did not know the answer.

I was out shopping with my mum when I saw Damon walking down the street with this woman. She was an angel indeed. A very beautiful and attractive woman. They were talking and laughing together and seemed unaware of their surroundings. It was a picture of perfect couple. My heart gripped in pain. This was the cruelty of life, wasn't it?

They were heading towards my direction and he noticed me suddenly as he started to wave at me. I had the impulsion to turn around and walk away but I did not want to make a scene. We would cross each other's path eventually so why not faced it once and for all?

"Hey, nice to see you here. What's up?" Damon asked.

"Shopping with my mum. Aren't you working?" I answered politely.

"I'm having lunch with my friend." Damon turned and smiled at the woman. She gave him a charming smile in return. I felt nauseated.

"That's good. Hmm... nice to see you here but we really need to go. Catch you later!" I ended the conversation abruptly and grabbed my mum away.

It was not as bad as I thought it would be. It still hurt a lot but I knew I would survive.

The night breeze was cooling. I was in my bedroom staring outside the window. There were lots of stars tonight. It was lovely. I felt lucky and fortunate to achieve what I had now. Life was good and I had no complains. Losing the friendship between him and I was always a deep sense of loss that would forever scar my heart. But there was nothing I could do to savour this relationship. Maybe we could still be friends but I just wanted to clear my thoughts right now. It would be best to keep a distance from him from now onwards.

I closed my eyes and wished upon the stars.

"No matter where I am, you will have my blessing, Damon. Wishing you happiness always!"


	13. Chapter 13

The night before I left for Washington Damon called my cellphone. I recognised the number instantly and I hesitated a while before I answered the call. Maybe it was time to face the problem. Running away would never solve the problem. Furthermore I wanted to know the answer. Was I missing something here?

"So you have finally decided to take my call huh?" Damon sounded sarcastic. "I thought you would avoid me forever."

"I'm sorry. I'm just busy and I apologise if I had stepped on your ego."

He chuckled and then sounded very serious. "Can we talk?"

"We are talking now," I answered.

"I don't understand. I thought we are friends..." he paused. "But why this sudden change? Why this hostility?"

Friends...I wished he and I could be friends...

"Damon, can I tell you a story?"I spoke after a while.

"What story?" he asked.

"Just listen, will you?"

"Sure!"

I took a deep breath and started my story.

"There is this girl. She is very plain. Very ordinary. She is not outgoing and she is never outstanding. Her only passion is books. She did well in school not because she was smart but because she worked her ass hard."

"She excells In her academics and her career but still she is not the centre of attraction. But it's okay. Not everyone will approve or appreciate who or what you are. They are entitiled to their own opinions and views. She believes that one day there will be someone who 'will be able to see her true self and love and appreciate the way she is."

"4 years ago she met a wonderful man and thought that her dream had finally come true. Unfortunately life was not as sweet as she thought it would be. She understood that God wasn't punishing her or failing to answer her prayer. It's just life happening."

"Elena..." Damon interrupted.

"Please let me finish the story," I begged.

He kept quiet on the other end. I continued.

"Life goes on. She still thinks of this man but she knows that a miracle will never happen. Her greatest wish is to know that he is happy always."

"But then lightning struck! She met him again. Isn't it amazing? The timing seemed right and they shared common grounds but she is afraid because she believes that nobody as perfect as he is will ever look into her way. She becomes a Runaway soul, running away from all the problems," I sniffled.

"Deep inside her heart there is always a question that she wanted to ask but too afraid to open her mouth: what does he think of her?"

I paused for a second before I carried on. It was hard for me but it was time to learn to deal with problems.

"When she realised that this wonderful man has found his true love her dreams shattered and her world was torn apart. It hurt her so much that she could not face him anymore - a friend she always wanted to have all her life yet she had to let go of this friendship. How she wished she could share his day but ..."I swallowed hard to fight the lump forming inside my throat.

"It's nobody's fault. This is the journey of life for Runaway soul. Nobody can change it."

There was a silence over the other end of the phone. I felt tears stinging my eyes...

How I was able to tell how I felt to Damon was intriguing. Where did I find such strength and courage? I was not sure. Maybe he would runaway this time. Maybe it was the perfect solution to the problem.

"Can I interrupt now?" Damon spoke eventually.

"Yeah.."

"I never think that the girl of your story is plain and ordinary. She is Runaway soul but I think she is very brave. It takes a lot of courage to be able to tell her true feelings. But she is very stubborn too!"

I held my breath as I listened.

"If she feels lost, then he too doesn't know where this road is going. Are they gonna let go of what they have shared completely?"

"If she sees him walking down the road with someone else, it is not because he likes it, I i's because she is not brave enough to walk with him."

"If she hears him talking about other women all the time, it is not because he likes to talk about them, it is because she is too deaf to hear his heart."

My tears streamed down immediately and I started crying.

"If she cries, he too feels the pain. It is nothing less than what she is feeling." he said gently.

"What you make of your life is up to you. Nobody knows what might the future hold. The choice is yours, Runaway soul."

"Tomorrow is not a promise to anyone and today maybe the last chance you get. We don't always get a second chance and that's life. It is risky, it is frightening but all you need to do is look, listen and trust."

"The answers lie inside you."


	14. Epilogue

Seattle, Washington.

It felt great to be back at work. I was handed a big project as soon as I returned to the headquarter. It was a hectic life yet challenging.

I was working with my PowerPoint presentation when I saw a new email.

When I opened the mail, my lips curled into a smile.

Dear Elena,

I bet you are working hard at this moment. Learn to take things easy and try to enjoy yourself okay?

Take care.

Damon

* * *

 **Thank goodness it was a happy ending for Runaway Soul:)**

 **I can't tell you guys/gals how touched I was when I finished reading this story of hers. I try to incorporate this story into our favourite TVD's couple. Sorry to disappoint my readers that I haven't been able to write recently. Life is hectic and I think I need a break from writing - ideas don't seem to come easily in recent months and I don't want to write a crap Delena story...**

 **Anyway, I'm so glad and touch to know my readers still enjoy reading what I have written so far. Thank you and I wish all of you good health and happiness in life today and always!**

 **Till next time:)**


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